Get your Laminated ID Card Today

November 20, 2010

Now, for only $7.77, you can become a card-carrying member of Team Illuminati! Special Agent MembershipJoin Team Illuminati and receive a laminated ID card in the mail. Click on “Add to cart” and after checkout, fill out the form at http://teamilluminati.com/join-team-illuminati. This link will also be emailed to you after checkout.Price: $7.77 Join the ranks [...]

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Download Now: American Dream

November 15, 2010

Team Illuminati Debut Album American Dream SAVE MONEY BY BUYING IT HERE INSTEAD OF ITUNES Listen to the songs for free at http://teamilluminati.com/digital-store $7.77 Tweet

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The 13 Steps of Team Illuminati

October 20, 2010

Inspired by StumbleUpon and A∴A∴, bad music is a kind of addiction, and Team Illuminati offers a kind of recovery. If you think you may have a more serious addiction, worse than bad music, CLICK HERE. If you have demons that need feeding, CLICK HERE. The 13 Steps of Team Illuminati: 1. Admit that you have a [...]

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From the Archives: Team Illuminati Stageplot™

October 12, 2010

ATTENTION BOOKING AGENTS, CLUB OWNERS, UNDEAD MUSIC INDUSTRY PEOPLE, LADY GAGA, DREW AT THE MERCY LOUNGE, BONNAROO ORGANIZERS, AND ZBIGNIEW BRZEZINSKI: This is our stage plot™. Thank you. Tweet

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Team Illuminati Refuses to Submit to Heineken

October 8, 2010

We have just been asked to “Submit” to Heineken. In order to better serve our purpose, we have decided not to “Submit” to Heineken. Please consider that if you want Team Illuminati to “Submit” to anything, YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINT! On the other hand, we find it highly amusing and strategically brilliant that Heineken has [...]

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Space Attack Readiness

September 30, 2010

The recording of the rock opera Space Attack is moving along at a steady pace, and now for disinformational purposes we have been advised to provide this handy chart of our progress: {∆} Tweet

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Space Attack UPDATE

September 27, 2010
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MUSIC/LYRICS: 100% DRUMS: 100% BASS: 100% GUITAR: 90% KEYBOARDS: 90% PIANO: 75% VOCALS: 10% NARRATION BETWEEN SONGS: 100% NARRATOR VOCALS: 0% MUSIC UNDER NARRATION: 40% MIXES: 0% MASTERED TRACKS: 0% ARTWORK: 25% VIDEO EDITING OF OVER 100 GIGS OF BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE: 0% This is a huge undertaking, not quite as large as our [...]

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From the Archives: Hilarious Review by Sean Maloney

September 25, 2010

One year ago, after a vicious attack on Katy Perry that can be seen HERE, Team Illuminati found it necessary to defend her as an important asset. A personal email was written to the offending party, and the whole episode was quickly forgotten. This is the email: Subject: Attn: Sean Maloney RE: Attack on KP-666B [...]

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THIS FRIDAY at the Basement: Girls Rock Out

August 11, 2010
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You are hereby summoned to appear at The Basement on FRIDAY, August 13, for a totally kickass show with 4 bands that are fronted by awesome female bass player/lead singers, including Blue Heart Hour, fronted by Team Illuminati bassist Jessie F. CLICK HERE FOR FULL DETAILS ON THE FACE-BOOK GIRLS Rock Out For Charity; Kink [...]

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Space Attack Update

August 10, 2010

Dear Illuminated Ones, The recording of Space Attack is well under way now, and should be on schedule for a release beginning this fall. It’s taken some time to decipher the thumb drive we received from the future. Here’s a shot of Noah working in the studio: Space Attack is a 3-act rock opera that [...]

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